How awful is it that we spend a lot of our lives making a wish and hoping it comes true? Could anything really be built on a wish? Much of Hollywood is built on this concept. I hope I’ll stumble into Mr. Right and he’ll pursue me even though I push him away. I hope I’ll magically fall in love with my best friend whom I never noticed before. I hope I’ll mysteriously discover treasure and it’ll solve all my financial woes. I hope a valiant warrior will step in and fight for me. I hope. I hope. I hope.
What it does to our self-image, our relationships… so damaging! How often do we push for our spouses, significant others or family to change and never just step back and think how it’d feel to have someone constantly trying to change US ?!
We have ideals and wispy magical pictures that come crashing down during our fifth load of laundry and second load of dishes. They fail us when the toddler emptied the shelf of books AGAIN and destroyed a couple favorites along the way at a friend’s house who should have known to childproof her living room before inviting us over and now embarrassment is clouded with blame!
Or when that adorable human wrecking ball painted the walls in the bathroom with toilet water and toilet paper before the toilet got flushed…
We crash and burn into despair when the car breaks down on the way to a dance recital that we’ve poured blood and sweat into because those curls took hours to perfect on her tiny perfect head and we have an image of our lives that is fragile and driven by perfect imaginary personas.
We carry so much stress because of the imaginary circumstances that have no real barring on our value or our future.
As I was working on a dandelion design for jewelry I noticed that everything out there relates dandelions to wishes. It’s frustrating! I actually don’t believe in making wishes. Until then, I didn’t even realize it.
It’s as hokey as believing in Santa. I don’t know if I ever wrote him letters or left out cookies. I know some of you are thinking “how awful! This poor girl was robbed of this magic as a child?” No… I think they tried…? I remember walking downstairs at four years old on Christmas Eve. My mom was in a long nightgown and my stepdad was wearing a Santa hat and green and white striped underwear. (just pause and laugh at THAT image for a moment haha…) It was a sight to behold! They were sneaking wrapped presents in from the trunk of the car that was parked in the garage. I wasn’t crushed or surprised. I just couldn’t wait to open them! It was the one Christmas I remember not being in internal turmoil. (But that’s for another day).
I’ve never discouraged my kids from making wishes or throwing coins in a wishing well but I’ve never brought it up either. It’s not something I’ve spent any mental energy on until now. How many of us spend our lives wishing?
I hear myself say all the time “I’m hoping to get this done,” “I hope I can do this,” “I hope we’ll grow this, build that, make this, teach that, learn this…” It’s never-ending. As I say it I feel the preemptive disappointment already. I don’t really believe that we will… therefor I hope, or more accurately, I wish. I’ve had too many disappointments in my own abilities to keep me from saying “I will, I plan, I’m learning, I’m building, I’m doing….”
I implore you today… do it with me. Stop wishing. Stop wishing your life away. Make decisions. Give yourself deadlines. Value your time enough to not through it away. Give yourself grace when you miss a deadline and set it again but SET A DEADLINE!! Look at your schedule and make a way to fit it in your plan. Make a life that supports your goals and your people at the same time.
Give those around you the grace to be who they are today and who they are tomorrow at their own pace. It’s far more magical to love a broken person, that feels fully loved and embraced than it is to wait for perfection and never find it.
So when I decided to add dandelions to my design line it was for this reason: To remind me (and others) of the purpose and value we bring. Not to blows seeds of opportunity away but be intentional with the gift of beauty hidden in everything.
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