Life is SUPPOSED to be a journey. Experiences. Relationships. Important decisions. Excitement. Life altering lessons. Full of wonder. Taking true ownership of what is given to us. Life is supposed to be breath-taking and beautiful.
Unfortunately, there can’t be a deep understanding of the beauty till you’ve seen it next to all of the ugly. I don’t know that I could appreciate all of the blessings in my life if I hadn’t come from so much personal pain.
Right now… it’s hard. Right now… I have daily pain and I feel sick. Right now… it’s a physical struggle. But it is nothing compared to the heart-wrenching ache I used to carry. I’ve cried till there was blood in the pores under my eyes. Swollen and bloodshot. I’ve considered taking my own life more than once. A story for another day…
Right now… My heart is full. My soul is blessed. My life is covered in goodness. So even when it’s hard I don’t dive into depression. I know it’s just a season… and it will pass. I can grumble with the best of them… but deep-down pessimism just doesn’t own me anymore. I’ve experienced too much revelation into the good for the bad to keep me down.
Today I bring you a fun song. It has been a personal motto for me. “Perspective.” Where is my focus? What are my thoughts landing on in this experience? I wrote it many years ago with a heavy motivation to do something bigger and better. I wanted off the sideline!
There are things in life that require balance. Personal habits, scheduling your time for self-care, diet, exercise, relationships. However, I’ve also found that some things, for a season, require us to push in much harder than anything else.
For example, I’ve had seasons of my life where I’ve had to focus on my physical health and all I could do was control my diet. It took extensive research and discipline to change habits. It took a lot of my mental capacity. My focus on food was out of balance but it needed to be. I even had to let go of some commitments because I just didn’t have the mental space for, or calendar time for, everything while making personal changes.
This song is about that. It’s about maintaining perspective during the times we need to push AND the times we should lean back and rest.
It’s also about the meaning of it all. I have felt, many times in life, that I was sidelined and life was passing me by and I desperately wanted to get in the game. I’d have to work the job I hated and had all of my energy siphoned by things I didn’t even want to spend time on.
I know we’re all built with talents and gifts. We all bring a unique combination to earth that no one can duplicate or replace.
But for me, nothing I do matters if it doesn’t carry meaning. It has to bring value in some way. It matters to me that it matters. I hate useless wastes of time. They feel like throwing life away and life is far more valuable than we think. So many walk around like zombies. They give their lives to jobs just to pay the bills. They give up on ever dreaming for a better future. They settle in to “just getting by.”
What good is it to paint if you tuck it away in a closet for no one to see? What good is it to speak if you are never heard? What good is it to build if no one ever has the opportunity to use your craft?
I want to be the kind of person that throws all my cards on the table. Caution to the wind… I’m all in and as I dive not lose who I am in the process.
“please don’t let me lose my way”
What I’ve found, however, is the further I pursue life with vigor and intention the more of “my way” I actually find. It’s fulfilling. It’s freeing.
Do you have a dream you’ve let go of? Is there something you’ve sidelined? Do YOU feel sidelined? It’s time to get in the game and play.
Perspective – Lyrics
Teach me how to play like a poor boy sitting on the corner who doesn’t have a gig to play
Who doesn’t have a piggy bank to break
Please listen closely I might have something to say
I just don’t know how to communicate
If I purse my lips, say colorful words, If I show you my breasts then would I be heard
Chorus
If I try too hard I might lose a little perspective
If I try too little I just might lose it all
But YOU have gotta to see value in what I do or I might as well throw in the towel today
Verse 2
Creativity as an art-form means nothing if it’s unshared
But hidden virtue is better than stupidity on display
Should I close the door and whisper, little miss perfect took a vaca
Even though this little white girl with no game would like to play
Chorus
Bridge
Please don’t let me lose my way, please don’t let me lose my way
It’s all in your hands I give you control, please take my insecurities and make me whole
You’ve gotta see value in what I do or I might as well throw in the towel today (2x)
Outro:
If I try too hard I might lose a little perspective
If I try too little I just might lose it all
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Thanks Wendy, that’s very encouraging. Right now I feel like I’m on the sidelines trying to work through all my pain and heal. I know I probably sit in the sadness more then I would like to admit but I hope to be more like you one day. Your optimism is so refreshing and makes me strive to be less negative and hold tight to Gods peomises and not mine.
Optimism is hard. I think the moments we sit in sadness are just as relevant and valuable to our story. I have found so many, including myself, feel guilty for the sad days but they are valid and real. Part of healing is being able to feel what we feel when we feel it. Burying our feelings prolongs the healing process. The thing we must ask ourselves is “what am I going to do with the pain?” Sending you hugs! I’ve been where you are. You are loved, my friend.