I’m holding myself accountable today. I’ve given the advice before “don’t let your feelings choose your path.”
- “I feel like going for a walk today.”
- “I feel like Chinese.”
- “I feel like getting my master’s in biology.”
- “I don’t feel like folding laundry.”
- “I don’t feel like calling anyone today.”
- “I don’t feel like going to work.”
None of those expressions in and of themselves are bad but when we allow our feelings to run the roost, we invite turmoil.
- “I don’t feel love for him anymore.” – What was your commitment to begin with?
- “I feel rejected.” – Yes. Maybe you were but maybe you just read the room wrong.
- “I’m depressed.” – Ok… are you going to stay that way?
- “I feel lost.” – Then, it’s time to get found. It’s time to find your place.
“FEELINGS CAN’T ACTUALLY HARM US.”
I heard that on a business coaching call last week by Life Coach, Lorrie Gray. I felt like throwing my fists in the air in agreement! It’s the choices we make BECAUSE of the feelings we have or worse the choices we make to AVOID feeling certain things, that can cause us, and others, harm.
How often do people avoid doing something that they’d enjoy because they don’t want to look silly or dumb? How often do people not start something because they’re afraid they won’t have the tenacity to finish? How often do we avoid relationships, projects, social situations and so on because we’re afraid of how it will make us feel?
I really wanted to apply this concept to our routine and the success we strive for. That was going to be my topic today. “Stop letting your feelings ruin your routine.” We move with the winds of emotions day in and day out. “I need to get this done but I’m tired… I just FEEL like watching a show.” This is not a successful way to live. In five years, you’ll be in the same place you are now if this is how you live.
But today… today a more pressing thought… is taking over.
Yesterday I spent a few hours at the doctor’s office. Appointments like this usually take an hour but I was there for almost three because there was a debate on what labs should be taken, what insurance would cover, what had already been ordered and what should be ordered and that’s after a lengthy discussion with my doctor who was going over results from an ultrasound. The thing is there’s no real diagnosis here. I’m waiting for labs to come back now. I don’t even want to tell people. There’s just the possibility of something so they’re testing further.
It’s like the time I had a doctor tell me I was in kidney failure and we needed further tests and then a few months later it was actually my thyroid so they needed to do more tests to find the root cause and it turned out my adrenal gland was fatigued which was causing all of the other numbers to be off. UGH! I spent months in turmoil and diet changes and restrictions trying to heal my kidneys and then my thyroid and didn’t even need to.
Back to yesterday… The old me would have dove into the fears and possibilities. I literally would have stood on the edge of a cliff staring at all the dark feelings and possibilities at the bottom and I’d dive right into them. Devastated that I was “having” to face them. The old me would have sort of freaked out and grieved “bad things always happen to me.” The old me would have struggled to sleep last night and would have talked to several people about it by now.
We don’t know if it’s bad and we don’t know if it’s anything at all!
I was doing great with that ’til I shared with someone and they responded as though it’s a diagnosis and spoke in a tone that was convinced and fearful. So today I had to push out of that. I refuse to grieve something that isn’t even there. I refuse to allow this to steal my joy or my productivity for even one minute. So, I called my husband. I talked through the feelings I was having… almost started to cry and then thought, “this isn’t going to steal from my day.”
Being told you have cancer is a diagnosis. Being delivered divorce papers is a diagnosis. Being told you’re miscarrying is a diagnosis. Being told someone you love has just passed is a diagnosis.
These are all real things that people encounter every day. Even in the midst of all of the real and valid emotions that come with these diagnoses, it’s so important to CHOOSE how you will respond. If you need a good cry, then CRY! Then put away the tissue box and get to work. Make a plan. Choose one step at a time to overcome hardship. Hold them in your heart, fight for your life, release them to their own choices and choose what’s best for your future.
Having to do something that’s hard shouldn’t level you. It is not a nuclear explosion in the middle of your world… unless you make it that.
Don’t waste a single moment on thoughts like “it’s so sad that I’m having to go through this.” You’re worth every second it takes to overcome life’s obstacles. Your sphere of influence is counting on you to make the changes and inspire them to make changes too.
“It’s so sad,” is a choice. That’s why a thousand people can each have a different response to the same situation because there’s more than one way to respond.
When life is offering me this kind of choice, my go-to is to quiet the inner turmoil… to shut off the madness and get truth. I find the place of peace to spring off of. I literally separate myself from others and close my eyes. “What’s the truth in all of this?” “God, what’s your perspective?” “What do YOU want me to know?”
This may be difficult when you don’t know what peace looks like or how to get there. Message me if that’s you. We can talk.
It’s never as devastating and eternal as we think. It’s never the end of the world. The perspective we choose becomes our rudder instead of our feelings. When we choose peace we find blessing in the process. We find freedom. We find healing. We find ourselves embracing life more fully instead building walls that separate us from those we want to be close to.
Furthermore, when we choose our response intentionally instead of allowing our feelings to choose for us we have now taken control of our future. We are no longer victims of our own life and circumstances. We have now become the author of the solution and partner with the plan of action. The warrior with sword and shield. The victor. Not the “lucky one” who happened upon your present moment.
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